You know, this is a post I’ve actually been meaning to write for a long, long time and I just haven’t. Why? Well, not sure really.…but yep, I’m going to talk about it today, not only because Renee asked about it, but because it is something I think is important to discuss, and a subject that divides a lot of sex workers and actually makes sex workers rights activism harder. What, exactly am I rambling on about at this point? Well, it is the caste system that is out there amid sex workers, the whole how we distance ourselves from dirty thing…and not only am I going to write about it, but I encourage other sex workers out there to write about it as well- their take on the issue…Call it a mini call to arms, sex worker small blog swarm style. So sex workers, if you’re of the mind, please do blog on this!
Anyway, in Chicago, Serpent Libertine asked me a question in an interview I had difficulty answering, a question I did not have the answer to, which to this day flusters me, because I wish I had an answer. I wish I knew the answer. But I feel like there is no real answer because amid sex workers, there is absolutely a class/caste system. People define it in different ways, look at it coming from different places, but it is absolutely there. Me personally, I am sort of the mind that if you sell sex or sexuality, well folks, you sell sex or sexuality…I don’t care if you make 1000$ a night stripping and giving lap dances in a club (upscale or otherwise) or at private parties, 3000$ an hour for an escort gig in a ritzy hotel, 20$ for a blow job in a parking lot, $500-$1500 for a b/g porn scene, $150 for an hour of professional domination, or $12,000 for a weekend of “companionship” in Paris- travel and gifts not included. If you do these things, you are selling something, and it isn’t auto insurance. You sell sex and/or sexuality for money, and like anyone and everyone else who does the same thing; you are subject to the same sorts of bullshit. It might not be as thick or as prevalent for you as it is for others, but you are subject to it all the same. The same marginalization, the same stereotyping, the same legal crap, the same stigma. When it all comes down to it, I am of the mind that no matter what you do, no matter how high your price tag is or what services you actually offer or how classy or educated you are…in the end, someone, somewhere…a lot of someone’s even…will be more than happy to write you off as a dirty, seedy, greedy, fucked up useless subhuman whore-and it doesn’t much matter if you are wearing Walmart or Armani. Because, you see, sex work and sex workers, all of it and all of them, are stigmatized and marginalized.
Oddly enough, of course, my view is not universal. There are a lot of sex workers out there, even a few who are involved in sex workers rights, who do play the caste game. A stripper or a pro-dom is not the same as a porn performer or prostitute, they don’t fuck for money! A porn performer is different than a prostitute, because what they do is legal! An escort is different than a hooker, they are classier! A high-end call girl who does a GFE is different than even a pricey escort who does a PSE (porn star experience), they provide more than sex! So on, so forth, ad infinitum, amen. And sure enough, different sex workers do different things. They are different people, after all…but at the end of the day- no matter how much Gucci or Gutter, Leather or Lace, Stages or Sets you wrap it up in…no matter if you do more cock sucking or conversation…no matter what color or gender you are, or how many degrees you have, or whether you came up in Red Hook or Greenwich, if you’re 18 or 50, whether it’s legal or not…at the end of the day- we’re all selling the same thing…no matter how much anyone likes to pretend otherwise…and sure enough, the word a lot of people are going to use for that is prostitution, the word they are going to use for you is whore (and not in a good way), and should something unfortunate happen to you, there are going to be a whole lot of people who are going to say you deserved it, if they bother to recognize your humanity and whatnot at all…in any way…much less one you might like.
So yes, I don’t have much use for the caste system in many regards. Do I think it is important-vitally so- to recognize differences amid sex workers? Yes, I do, because I think stereotypes are bullshit and pretending we’re all the same is actually harmful on an activism front. After all, not all sex workers need drug counseling, but some sure as shit do. Not all need continuing education, but some sure as shit do. Some do need help on learning how to write a resume, some don’t. Some want and need exit programs and strategies, some don’t. Some need legal advice, some don’t. Wants and needs are very different. So, in that aspect, recognizing our differences is very important. But this whole some sex workers are better than others thing? Uh uh. No. I don’t buy that, and I don’t like it.
Back to Chicago for a moment. Amid one of the presentations, a woman stood up, an exotic dancer, and made a very generalizing statement about “strippers”. I remember turning to someone (Amber perhaps) and snarling something about something about her statement. Another woman called her on it; I later thanked her for doing so, because that sort of thing drives me nuts. I remember that the dancer in question was a petite, conventionally attractive young blonde white woman, and sure enough, life in her world is probably very different than life in the world of a PoC sex worker, or a street level worker, or an older worker, or a male sex worker, or a trans worker, or a worker from a different class than she. The college girl dominatrix does not face many of the same issues as the woman on a stroll on M Street. But the attitude given off by the blonde exotic dancer in a room full of sex workers outreach workers really, really pissed me off: because that attitude was that she was somehow better. Not like those other fucked up girls!
As if the rest of the world would not, because she was pretty and young and white and did not actually fuck for money, drag her through the mud and not mourn her in the least should she end up raped or arrested or harassed by a cop or a corpse. I mean, what will her caste system do for her then? Absolutely nothing. And in the mean time, via her attitude of superiority, she is alienating the very people who might actually be there for her should she ever need it. And who does that benefit? No one- least of all- her.
And you know what? The whole caste system is something I myself, even though I hate it, am still grappling with as an individual. It doesn’t have to do with race for me- hell- people generally (and erroneously) think I am Greek or some other nationality that is not in my wood pile, but I sure as hell recognize that racism is alive and well in sex work. It has not to do with sexual orientation, I mean, as Straighty Mc Straight/ Gay only for Pay I am a bit of an oddity in this business. It has not to do with money for acts done…I mean, there are a lot of sex workers out there who make a lot more than I do, and a lot out there who make a lot less than I do. It has to do with the stereotypes and the superiority. I don’t like universal images. I don’t like people assuming I am a junkie, or uneducated, or have been abused/raped/molested…because I’m not and haven’t been. However, it is not a matter of me feeling that I am better than people who are or have been any of those things, but because doing so paints me as something I’m not. I don’t like people assuming I jet set all over the world and men pay men thousands of dollars for a GFE and I don’t have bills or financial bullshit and I can do whatever I want because I am one of those lucky, charmed life happy hooker girls…because I’m not and that’s not the way it is for me, and assuming as such paints me as something I’m not. I don’t feel I am better (or worse) than those people either, but that’s not who I am. Do I have some privileges, yes. Am I lacking others? Also yes. And while I sure as hell hate people assuming I am something that I’m not via the stereotypes and based on the caste system…. I hate this even more: I hate the idea that the pretty girl jetting off to London who speaks 3 languages, provides a top rated GFE, is working on a PhD in economics and makes more money in a week than most people make in several months is somehow more human, more deserving of respect, more worthy of attention and somehow worth more as a person than the scrapping to survive girl who never made it out of high school who is busting her ass on a stroll in Baltimore because she has no other way to bring in the bucks. They are different people, with different lives and stories, and while neither is the full face of the sex industry, they are both in the sex biz…and one is not better than the other. The thought that such is the case? Well, that shit right there is harmful, all around. And nothing will make me unleash my “meaner than hell” privilege all over the place faster than people pulling this shit. After all, I am a surly mid-range model myself who in many ways is as dirty as they come…I go Greek, after all.
But the thing is, even after saying all this…just like in Chicago, I don’t have the answers. I don’t know how to fix it. I wish I did, but I don’t. So if any of you out there have the answers…what’s the plan?
